The most amusing thing about TUX, the latest gift item from high-end erotic novelties brand Lelo, isn’t the product — which is basically a tuxedo for your penis — it’s the contortions that the company’s marketing team went through to find a way to describe it.
A “hallmark of gentlemen’s style in the bedroom and beyond,” the TUX represents “the next stage in (the) male penis fashion trend,” Lelo‘s creative team declared today as the $40 Valentine’s Day must-have hit the market.
But before we get back to admiring their copywriter’s artistry, let’s address a more basic question: what, you are probably wondering, is a tuxedo for the penis? And, since you brought it up, what’s this penis fashion trend they’re talking about?
Lelo‘s TUX™ (yes, it’s trademarked) is a bedroom novelty based on the “willy warmer”, a time-honored gag gift that typically rears its head (sorry) at men’s stags and bachelorette parties. The willy warmer has a somewhat dubious history as a staple of men’s battle dress in some northern climates, and it’s apparently still popular in Scotland, where relentless winds and cold rain have made male shriveling a kind of national curse.
Despite its proud history (and important evolutionary role in coddling the reproductive assets of Nordic brutes), most of the so-called ‘cock socks’ available today are cheap, throwaway joke gifts commonly found in sex shops or EBay. But Lelo is determined to give the venerable willy warmer a long-overdue fashion upgrade.
The TUX is a satin sleeve that is accessorized with a bow tie and rose, and held in place by a band that “slips comfortably behind the male undercarriage.” (Yes, this also marks the first time the word “undercarriage” has been used on Lingerie Talk.)
The stretchy one-piece unit supposedly fits all sizes (insert joke here) and comes with written instructions that will be a boon to novices and clumsy partners alike.
“It was actually much more complicated than it sounds,” insists Steve Thomson, Lelo‘s chief marketing officer, “from selecting the materials to finalizing the cut, and TUX went through multiple design iterations before the finished product.”
Lelo is positioning the TUX not as a novelty item but as a luxury accessory for the sophisticated sartorialist with a sense of humour — and as a part of an emerging “men’s intimate apparel” market.
“Tailoring garments for the penis is not a new phenomenon, but nothing as luxurious as TUX exists on the market,” the company says. “While the women’s lingerie market is forecast to become a $30 billion industry by 2020, there remains a distinct lack of brands operating in the category of male intimate apparel.”
Lelo would also like you to know that the TUX is part of a broader movement in penis fashion, citing Vivienne Westwood‘s recent runway show in Milan and the “dicture” imagery of professional penis photographer Soraya Doolbaz as evidence.
The TUX launch includes a very clever (and very safe-for-work) video (above), with an amusing visual payoff at the end that is probably not what you’re expecting.
And according to early product reviews on the Lelo website, the TUX can do a lot for flagging male self-esteem.
“I felt like James Bond,” says one reviewer, “in a weird but sexy way.”
And now back to Lelo‘s PR copywriters, who clearly have a job that is way more fun than mine or yours.
The TUX, they tell us, is “haute couture at its hottest” and, in case you had any doubt, “perfect for any formal evening event.”