Layla L’Obatti knows a thing or two about love and relationships, and not just because she designs some of the most romantic lingerie around — a lot of which, no doubt, will be put to good use by some lucky couples today.
But Layla is also sensitive enough to know that single girls often have no choice but to grin-and-bear-it through the Hallmark madness of Valentine’s Day and hope their dignity and self-esteem survive.
Thus, rather than use her latest blog post to peddle last-minute lingerie deals, she reaches out to single ladies with her own recollections of V-Day singledom and some useful advice on how to endure and, hopefully, even embrace it.
Here’s an edited version of Layla’s post. You can read the full version here. Then treat yourself by adding your favorite pieces from BTS Lingerie to your wish list for next year.
The Single Girl’s Valentines Guide
by Layla L’Obatti, BTS Lingerie
For 6 years I was no stranger to the singles scene, and although I’m pinned down as the proud mother of one budding business and the wifey to one seriously sweet environmental attorney the single girl in me always looks on Valentine’s Day with mixed trepidation.
I remember all the guys dated pre-February would bolt like wild horses the moment February 1st came around, and then there is the barrage of news stories and stores decorated with hearts and cupids that all seemed to turn their little cherub faces and mockingly ask, “When are you going to settle down?”
Well, I say Valentine’s Day does not have to be for the couples! And from personal experience avoiding the depressing suck of this holiday and keeping your spirits high will leave you feeling even more approachable and desirable when the single men all start peaking their heads out of their mancaves when spring rolls around.
Here are my tips to surviving the storm of lip-curling cherubs:
Get your girls together!
There is no better way to tease out the men afraid of their own shadows on Valentine’s than to travel in numbers. Men are hunters, so they like the statistical odds of groups of gals rather than the burn-and-turn of approaching a lone female or pair of females at a bar.
When you and your girls get together there is a chemistry there that no guy can replicate. Girl-talk can heal you during break-ups and it will definitely get you through a night out this holiday surrounded by crooning couples.
Get some perspective on singledom.
When we look back on our past relationships we tend to idealize them, but in reality relationships are never easy. As a single girl you never have to ask for your guy to leave the seat down, pick his socks up off the floor, or to clean up after himself. So instead of focusing on the man you don’t have, why not “reframe” that and focus on that fact that you are lucky not to have do deal with that stuff in this moment. In other words, relish your freedom.
How often have you looked at the couple next to you on the train holding hands with green eyes? I GUARANTEE you there are times when they look at a group of girls or guys heading off to a bar and miss their single days about as much as you are missing a relationship.
It’s all worth the wait.
Statistics show that those who jump into marriage early in life are the most likely to get divorced, so the fact that you’re single this Valentine’s Day means that you’re taking the time to figure out what YOU want, which means you’ll be more likely to settle down only for something solid. Hold onto that thought.
Maybe we don’t all have a Serendipity moment where the stars align to bring us to that person in a really obvious way, but a good number of relationships are founded on coincidence — being at the same bar at the same time, being introduced by friends at a party, getting put in the same class, or stumbling upon each other on a dating site. You might not be able to see around that corner but that’s just because we’re not supposed to know what’s around life’s turns. Just be prepared for them.
You read our most recent profile of Layla L’Obatti and BTS Lingerie here.