The Gift: Kiki de Montparnasse French Lesson Panty Set
Perfect For: Naughties Lost in Translation
Whether you’re in a relationship with a suave French exchange student (le sigh, my fantasy) or, like my friend, planning a trip to the City of Lights in hopes of mending a broken heart, frustrations can abound when you and beau are lost in translation.
Thankfully, Kiki de Montparnasse has come up with a naughty solution so that you can express your romantic intentions towards your beau sans explanation. Not just reserved for those involved in a romantic tryst with a hunky foreigner, Kiki de M’s French Lesson Panty Set features playfully suggestive cotton panties with enticing phrases like ‘Spank Me’ and ‘Tie Me Up’ written on the back. Ooh, la, la, indeed.
At $295, the cotton panty set ain’t cheap, but it definitely makes up for the service it provides. Seriously, imagine trying to whisper the language of amour into your lover’s ear (especially when you’re ahem, getting intimate) only having to pause every five seconds to open a Bescherelle?! Um, total buzz-kill.
Available in sizes XS-L, the French Panty Lesson Set also includes complementary wrapping and the option of adding a personal note, but in my opinion, why a note when you can slip on a specific panty to express how you really feel!
A few days ago we told you about the Christmas video from La Senza UK, in which models sing/gasp/moan musical notes that correspond to their bra cup size. It turns out La Senza has a huge holiday hit on its hands.
The video, titled The Cup Size Choir, has had more than 1.3 million views on YouTube since its launch a week ago. That’s more than three times as many views as the Michael Bay-directed Victoria’s Secret Holiday Commercial, even though the annual VS seasonal jingle typically dwarfs all other lingerie marketing efforts during the busy pre-Christmas period.
La Senza’s two-minute film shows seven lingerie-clad models reclining on white mattresses laid out like piano keys. The girls gasp-moan in quasi-orgasmic musical notes to create the tune for Deck The Halls.
But is all this just jolly good fun, or is it really sexist trash that would get trounced by critics if it originated in North America?
To get a sense of the debate it’s generated, browse the 500+ comments on YouTube as viewers a) applaud, b) rate the models, or c) heap scorn on both supporters and detractors of the video. (Current score: 2000+ likes, 128 dislikes.)
La Senza UK (which is not connected to the Canadian brand of the same name that is owned by the same company that owns Victoria’s Secret) may have anticipated the video’s appeal — it set up a special microsite for the Cup Size Choir. That website allows visitors to “play” the models in order to create their own songs, record them, and share with friends via social media.
“We wanted to bring some festive cheer and what better way than the Cup Size Choir,” La Senza marketing director Sarah Hawkins told UK’s Mail Online. “The activity is aimed at men to help them with their Christmas shopping, but we hope that women will find it fun and engaging too.”
But if the video itself is questionable, the company website gives critics more ammunition. By clicking on individual models (or typing letters that correspond to their cup size), viewers make the models simultaneously writhe and moan — for musical purposes, or otherwise.
My take on this? The CCC is unquestionably clever, but it makes me queasy because it feels like DIY porn. If I were a woman I’d boycott La Senza over the holidays for promoting a message that seems to imply that poking a woman to make her gasp and moan is just good sport. If you like this sort of thing, I know the perfect Christmas gift for you: a blow-up doll.
Now, whether this is any more demeaning than the Victoria’s Secret commercial is another question entirely …
We recently looked at holiday-friendly red bras. Now let’s up the ante and check out some flirty Santa-themed novelty pieces to put some sparkle into your Christmas morning.
For gals looking to dress up (and drop his jaw) this season, consider a fun little number that indulges in Christmas nostalgia. Santa isn’t just for kids, ladies.
Isolde Lingerie is a great online resource for affordable costume lingerie that doesn’t dip into porn-star territory. No latex Mrs. Clauses here. And if you’re not about to commit to a full-on candy-cane outfit, you can pick up striped stockings or the essential Santa hat instead. The hood-tie piece (above) could be layered over lingerie you already own; the deep-V velvet dress will help bring out your inner elf-vixen.
If you’re looking for something more costume-like, Girlie Lingerie lets you play “Santa’s Girl” in a super-short belted dress worthy of the North Pole. Boot toppers add detail to your look (and can be worn as part of a G-rated costume, too).
Sparkling Strawberry has a Christmas Kandy Elf costume that lets you walk the line between sexy and much-too-much. (It’s the holidays. Some of us like to overindulge in all areas.) Or mix it up with the Reindeer Games look (below). You won’t look at those cheesy dollar-store antler headbands the same again.
Finally, for those girls with bigger packages to unwrap on Christmas morning, Hips and Curves offers a great line of fantasy ideas, like the Santa’s Little Helper number below, in plus sizes. You’ll also want to check out their unique Frosty the Snow Vixen ensemble!
Whether you go all out with Santa lingerie, or just nod to the season with a Santa hat, fur trimmed shawl or super-sexy red bra, have fun this season with your lingerie wardrobe.
Disclaimer: LingerieTalk does not endorse wearing naughty Santa costumes to office holiday parties. We take no responsibility for any awkwardness that ensues if you choose to don a fur-trimmed mini instead of a chic cocktail dress.
Let’s face it: ‘tis the season to rock shapewear. Indulgent holiday parties have us wanting to look our best prior the hitting-the-gym resolutions that come with the New Year. Honestly, are we going to steer clear of the eggnog just to look great in that little black dress? Not if there’s an easier solution.
ShaToBu (above left) takes shapewear and ups the ante. Instead of merely offering temporary slimming, it promises to tone and increase your daily calorie burn. (Studies claim women wearing ShaToBu burn up to 12% more calories than those not wearing the shapewear. This isn’t a gym-replacement, but everything helps, right?)
The secret? Resistance training. When you don a pair of ShaToBu tights, you’re dressing your legs in invisible resistance bands. The nylon and Lycra shapers also guarantee comfort: no bulges, pinching or rolls here. The moisture-wicking properties and cotton gusset let you wear them all day without feeling like you’re wearing a furnace under your dress.
Canadian gals, take note: ShaToBu, “the workout you wear,” is a Canadian brand. Sometimes it’s fun to know your lingerie supports local industry.
ShaToBu doesn’t have this niche market cornered. Scala Bio-Fir (above right) shapers, panties and leggings promise to fight cellulite. Here, the “secret” lies in embedded bio-crystals that warm against your skin, improving circulation in the affected areas.
Of course, those who tested the claims wore the shapewear for six hours a day, every day for a month. So prepare for a commitment if you’re up for giving these UK faves a try. (Seriously, the shapers sold out in 30 days when they were first launched. Stores had to ration them to customers!)
Whether or not these products make a noticeable different in your thighs after you take them off, both will keep your silhouette sleek while you snack on roasted chestnuts by the open fire(place).
Any Christmas gift that comes in a box bearing the Aubade logo is bound to set off squeals of delight.
This year, the revered Parisian brand is making things a bit easier for all you male shoppers out there by bundling up some of its most enchanting creations into gift-worthy packages.
Aubade’s Boites à Désir, or Wish Boxes, are black satin-stitched book-sized boxes containing a lacey lingerie piece or set.
There are six Wish Boxes to choose from; that’s the lace mask and gloves ensemble in the photo above. Also available are an Aubade waist cincher (bottom photo below), a suspender belt, stand-up stockings, naughty knickers (top photo below) and a hide-and-seek lingerie set. Most Wish Boxes are under $100 USD.
But that’s not the only exciting holiday gift from Aubade, whose achievements in lingerie design are matched only by its marketing prowess.
After the worldwide success of its Lessons of Seduction promotion during the past year-plus, Aubade is preparing to launch another round of “lessons” — exquisite black-and-white collectible photos, each bearing a teasing little “tip” in the fine art of romance.
People who purchase a Wish Box will get a sneak peek via an internet password that will reveal the first of what’s being called “Forbidden Lessons“.
We’ve seen the first Forbidden Lesson and we’re only going to tell you two things about it: 1) it’s NSFW (so we’re not showing it), and 2) it begs the question “what’s Aubade without lace”? Once you see it, your hearts will race!
To get one of Aubade’s Wish Boxes, contact a high-end retailer near you or visit the company website for a list of stockists.