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Barely News: Angels Breed, Kelly Climbs, Cathy Just Quits
Posted by LT Staff | August 23, 2010

This is what happens when you walk around all day in sexy underwear.
Fanboys everywhere groaned last week with reports that both Victoria’s Secret models Miranda Kerr and Doutzen Kroes are pregnant.

This is great news for fellow VS Angel Adriana Lima, who’s baby will now have some playmates she can relate to, but bad news for the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show — the annual TV fleshfest will likely be missing two of its stars this year.

Our question: is Victoria’s Secret working on a maternity line? And if not, for heaven’s sake, why not?!

Kelly Brook is one busy girl.
Career-minded Kelly Brook had the biggest week of her life, if all you care about is press mentions. First, there was that spread in Playboy. And the nude Love magazine cover. And the nude Reebok billboards. Plus a few high-profile openings and red carpets. Oh, and did we mention a movie openingPiranha 3-D, which rolled out this weekend to predictable raves.

That’s a good year for any ambitious model, but for Kelly it was all in a week’s work. The bad news? All that, ahem, exposure also got her fired as the superstar spokesmodel for UK lingerie brand Ultimo, a gig that barely lasted six months. No worries: it doesn’t look like underwear figures much in Kelly’s career plans anyway.

Mama always said keep your money in your knickers.
Limited Brands, the corporate parent of Victoria’s Secret, reported embarrassingly good quarterly financial results this week. The rapidly growing Ohio company reported net earnings of $179 million for the three months ending July 31, on sales of $2.2 billion. That’s more than double the profitability from the same period a year ago and a record performance for the company.

These are phenomenal results by any standard, but it doesn’t mean the lingerie market is recession-proof. By comparison, Frederick’s of Hollywood this week reported a meagre quarterly profit of $0.2 million, with net sales revenue down 7.2% over last year. The venerable brand operates 126 stores nationwide and has embarked on a strategy to cut distribution and sourcing costs to boost its balance sheet.

Ack! How will I remember my daily self-loathing mantras now?!
Cathy, the button-pushing comic strip that your mom used to like, is calling it quits this October after 34 years. The newsprint alter-ego of Cathy Guisewite has been driving feminists bonkers since the 1970s with her regular riffs on binge dieting, serial dating, underwear shopping and other less-than-flattering single-girl stereotypes. Most people probably thought Cathy — who’s now a navel-gazing mom — had retired years ago, but news of its demise is still a shock. One thing for sure: trying on the season’s first new swimsuit won’t be the same without her.

The ultimate summer cooler?
A clever marketer has found a novel way to help Tokyo residents endure a blistering hot summer: refrigerated panties. The chill briefs are being sold in a vending machine in the Akihabara shopping district for a mere $11.50 USD. And the fad-loving Japanese were quick to react — the booty-on-ice machine reportedly sold out within three days, and sold 10 times faster than plain, old-fashioned, un-cool panties like honorable grandparent used to wear.

Things you can buy at American Apparel for under $10:

Lacy Ankle Socks – $9/pair

Common Shares – $9/dozen

Forget the wine, have another doppa espresso.
Upscale UK lingerie store Rigby & Peller found a new way to push frilly underthings last week — by offering customers a sample of the world’s first aphrodisiac coffee. Amore del Caffe apparently contains some kind of oyster extract (ugh!) and retails for a whopping £ 39 per 100 grams. Rigby & Peller, the grand dame of British lingerie retailers, launched the coffee at its London store last week, allowing customers a small sample. Given its price, the sexy coffee probably just drove customers to buy more lingerie instead.

The many faces of beauty.
Love magazine, which is quickly becoming the must-have indie style magazine, hits the newsstands tomorrow with another provocative edition. This time, Love is available in 8 collectible covers featuring some of the world’s top models in different takes on feminine beauty. From Rosie Hungtington-Whitely (the “siren”) to Agyness Deyn (the “rebel”) and the ageless Lauren Hutton (the “heroine”), the series will fuel office chatter for weeks and drive collectors crazy as they try to scoop up the entire series. Most curious of all is the “Ms Perfect” cover — not a model at all, but a plastic doll. Brilliant!

This would be huge news in 1987.
Madonna is at last designing her own lingerie collection, which will be offered through UK retailer BHS later this year. Belgian model Jess Donckers is already on board as the new collection’s face.

We’re not sure why Madge is doing this, and why now. She’s already got a major gig fronting the D&G collection while also helping daughter Lordes get her new Material Girl line off the ground. Plus, she’s already done the celebrity designer thing with H&M a few years back. Maybe she just wants to help Taylor Momsen supplement her woefully limited underwear collection? Whatever. Stay tuned — this will be worth waiting for.

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