OK, settle down everyone, it’s just a magazine!

I’m talking about V Magazine #66, which finally hit the stands today after what must have been the longest, most tantalizing promo tease in history. Seriously, I think I’ve been reading and hearing about V66 since, well, an hour after V64.

By now, everyone knows about the 5 different covers (collect them all!). We’re not going to show you them, but if you must, you can see them all over here.

I don’t much like the cover idea, especially the scratch-off V’s that let you (gasp!) see the models’ bare breasts. Too gimmicky and a bit of a fraud — you can’t buy the scratch-off version on newsstands, you can only order them through the V website. And yes, they’re probably all gone now.

V66 (“The Sexy Body Issue”) is otherwise totally fabulous, a virtual cornucopia of editorials that celebrate the body in all its glory, just in time for the strip-down days of summer.

How’s this for just a taste of what’s inside: a salute to retro pinup calendars; Bar Refaeli in a faux-Playboy shoot; a bevy of Spanish bombshells; a spread on soccer WAGs; the brilliant “A Woman In Full” fall fashion spread, which takes a vintage-inspired look at curvaceous models; plus fashion editorials on a crystal Swarovski dress, designer denim and animal-skin clutches. And, as the saying goes, so much more.

So, though we just hate to sell other people’s magazines for them, here’s a taste of what’s in V66:

1. Pinup Girls — Anna Beatrice Barros (below) and others modelling retro lingerie from D&G and others.

2. A Woman In Full — Shot by Willy Vanderperre, offering fall looks featuring curvy models like Miranda Kerr and Jacquelyn Jablonski (below, in a Valentino dress over a Dior vintage bra).

3. Arny & Bar — Legendary Playboy photog Arny Freytag cranks up the soft lighting and gel-coated lenses to shoot supermodel Bar Refaeli and others in current lingerie pieces (that’s Bar in a Calvin Klein bra below).

4. Crystal Renn — Yes, she’s still a size 10, still fearless and shows up a couple of times in V66. Not sure what the theme is, but that’s Crystal below (and top of this post) in Wolford briefs and a lace bodysuit by Guilty Brotherhood. That sound you hear is Lady Gaga panting.