Socks are lingerie for dads.
Poor guys, they never get to buy their own undies, no one thinks their skivvies are sexy, and no one ever asks what label they’re wearing.
For relief, dads (well, my dad at least) turn to socks. They’re always bringing home something new — quik-dry hiking socks, cute shorties for golf shoes, heavy smelly wool worker socks, elegant knee-highs, bizarrely expensive argyle business socks and, of course, an unending supply of generic athletic tube socks, no two of which ever match.
This fetishism would be creepy if it weren’t for the fact that it doesn’t come close to women’s obsession with their undies.
Which brings us to Father’s Day, this June 20. For once in your life, the perfect gift is — drumroll, please — socks for dad.
But not just any socks. And you don’t have to go to the mall to find them.
Instead, head over to Blacksocks.com and enrol your dad in the online revolution known as the Sockscription.
The Sockscription, the brainchild of a Swiss e-tailer, is exactly what it sounds like. You buy a subscription. Every 4 months your dad gets 3 new pairs of socks in the mail. Good socks, any kind of socks he wants — sport socks, business socks, socks for watching the World Cup in. Whatever.
And these are top-drawer socks too (trust me, your dad will care), all made in Italy from fabrics like Peruvian Pima cotton. Hmmm … note to self … that might make a good bra ….
Blacksocks, the company behind the Sockscription, bills itself as an internet pioneer after selling more than a million pairs of socks through the mail in its first 10 years. It now boasts over 50,000 subscribers in 75 countries. Make that 50,000 dads.
Subscriptions start at $89 and you can let your dad pick the socks he’ll receive (believe me, he’ll spend hours drooling over the choices) by getting a gift certificate.
Renew the Sockscription each year and you’ve just given your dad socks for life. Waaay better than a year of Golf Digest, and only slightly less exciting than a new screwdriver set.
Blacksocks also sells high-end boxers, undershirts, travel kits and the like — other things that dads get worked up about.
But let’s talk about that another day. Seriously, the thing about socks is: how can anyone really care about clothing that no one else is going to see? Know what I mean, girls?